Life Then
by espioc
Summary: Sequel to Life Now. Blurr is finally free, now attempting to raise his sparklings in peace. Memories of what Shockwave did still plague his mind, and Blurr is determined to keep his sparklings far away from their Sire. Things do not go as planned.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I had some issues with the document after I posted this earlier, but here it is now! The long awaited sequel to Life Now, if anyone is still interested.**

 **This fic is rated M for mentions of past Rape/abuse. I have not written these characters in a long time, so first couple chapters may not be that great, but bear with me.**

 **First chapter established Blurr's new life, just a lot of sparkling Fluff**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Blurr woke up stiff. He took a moment to stretch before slumping back into the bed. He laid there for a couple moments before he was hailed. He carefully removed the slumbering sparkling sprawled across his stomach, and laid the little thing back down before heading off to tend to the other stirring toddlers.

Blurr found Little Jazz and Bluewave awake in their cribs while Zippy remained at rest. Blurr plucked the pair of two year olds from the berths and carefully placed them on the floor. As soon as the opportunity was presented to her Little Jazz took off running. She didn't make it far before tripping over her own pedes. Before she hit the floor, though, Carrier plucked her out of the air and sat her next to her twin. Little Jazz giggled as she climbed to her feet and took hold of Carrier's leg. Blurr smiled down at her as she followed him to Zippy's crib.

Bluewave reached his arms out and grasped his little hands as the pair walked away. He let out just the tiniest whine, which managed to draw his Carrier's attention. "Come on," Blurr urged gently, looking back to his sparkling. Bluewave managed, with some struggle, to get himself to his feet. He was by his Carrier's side in an instant. Blurr drew the still sleeping Zippy from the crib, causing the sparkling to wake up. Zippy let out a small yawn and rubbed his eyes as he was sat on his Carrier's hip and carried to the next room. As they walked Zippy put a hand on his Carrier's cheek. His eyes were blank and distant as he felt around his Carrier's helm. Blurr put his hand up and let him play with it as they walked.

Zippy was still small. He was smaller than his siblings, and, according to Red Alert, was blind in at least one of his eyes. The other wasn't functioning properly, but he could still see out of it. She said it was unclear whether or not, as he grew, he would gain his sight in the eye or lose it. Due to this, as well as a malfunction in his nerve sensors, Zippy was fond of feeling his way around. He quite liked playing with his Carrier's fingers and keeping himself close to the larger's warm body and beating spark.

Blurr collected Lightwave before escorting everyone to the main room and attempting to get organized for breakfast.

Little Jazz rushed around, racing back and forth across the room. She tried to prompt her brother to run with her, but he had placed himself comfortably on the floor and was reluctant to get up. If he wanted to catch her he could, he just didn't want to.

Lightwave happily ran about the room with her sister, but couldn't manage to keep a pace anywhere near that of Jazz. The little sparkling still ran about happily, though, laughing every time Little Jazz passed her. Before they could finish their "race" Blurr picked up Lightwave and placed her in the seat beside her brother. Blurr then collected Bluewave and placed him in his seat before going back for Jazz.

The little femme rushed past her Carrier with a giggle. Blurr was not phased by her speed and quickly managed to get a hold of her.

Blurr set a small bowl of energon mush in front of everyone before tending to Zippy, who still required some assistance when it came to feeding. He would sometimes grab the spoon for himself and try to help himself to the energon, but his nerves betrayed him and he would either drop the spoon or hold it still. As Zippy took the spoon for himself Blurr took a few quick sips of his own energon. Blurr often found himself chugging his meals so that he could get himself and everyone else ready before heading off to work.

After escaping, he and the other autobots made their way to an abandoned planet outside of Megatron's empire. The planet had been abandoned during a separate war and turned out to be a very suitable homebase. Blurr, along with many other escaped Autobots from both Cybertron and earth, as well as some stragglers who had been waning on the outskirts waiting for the war to restart, reclaimed the planet and began building.

The planet turned out to be rich in energy, which was lucky for them. By this time the war was on the verge of restarting. Any day now the newly developed council would be informing the inhabitants of their new planet that the Autobots and Decepticons were going to war again. They had all the resources and soldiers. They had plenty of soldiers. They had ships, and weapons, and energon. There was not much coming between the Autobots and war.

Blurr didn't like to think about war. He had enough on his mind with providing for four sparklings. War was the last thing he, and everyone else, needed right now.

Blurr's internal clock told him that it was almost time to go. He worked for the newly established Elite guard. Because of the sparklings, however, and the lack of current war, he often worked in the office going over intel already gathered by other bots. He also made the occasional delivery, when the need arose and there wasn't much on his plate. Blurr's job wasn't too difficult. He assumed it would get much harder when the war erupted, but until then he relished in it's simplicity. As much as he disliked office work, it was better than being away from his sparklings on a mission.

Blurr cleaned up the sparklings who managed to get more energon on their face than in their mouths, then released everyone from their high chairs. He placed Lightwave on his shoulders and scooped up Zippy before making sure the other set of twins was ready to run. Jazz took her brothers hand before taking her Carrier's. She was practically buzzing, hardly able to wait for the run ahead of her. She let her heals hop off the ground, barely able to contain her excitement, "Go, go, go," she repeated, mostly to herself.

Blurr smiled at her enthusiasm, "Are you ready?" he asked, getting into position.

Jazz nodded vigorously. Bluewave yawned.

"Bluey, are you ready sweet spark?" Blurr asked the other twin.

Bluewave nodded with a weak, "Uh-huh,"

A second later they took off running.

Blurr had to keep his speed down so that the other two could keep up with ease. They may have been quick, but neither had reached the level of their Carrier. Despite not being as fast as Blurr they were in no way slow. They could outrun any bot on this planet, and they were only two.

Jazz loved the sensation of running. Ever since she figured out how to walk it was all she would do. Little Jazz never walked anywhere, it was always running, there was no other option for her. Rarely a step was taken that was slower than, at least, sixty miles per hour. If there was any racing going on in the house, more often than not, it was Jazz who instigated it.

Bluewave, on the other hand, could live without running. He was fast, sure, but he enjoyed the feeling of sleep much more than that of pavement beneath his young pedes. By the end of the day he was often exhausted, even after having done nothing. There was nothing wrong with him, his timers were all adjusted, his processor worked as quickly and efficiently as his Carriers, he was just, for lack of a better word, lazy. When he had to run he ran, when he could sit he sat. It was all very simple to him.

Zippy was also quite quick, and Blurr would occasionally put him down to run with his siblings on the journey to work, but he much preferred being carried. It helped prevent any unnecessary incidents. When Zippy was feeling up to it, though, he would accept the challenges presented to him by Jazz and they would take a short turn about the house. This had not happened recently, however, due to an unfortunate incident. Despite being slightly impaired vision wise Zippy knew his way around the house well enough to run around on his own. Every once in awhile, though, he found himself losing his place and barreling into a wall. This had happened recently, upon racing Jazz, and he has not returned to the racing circuit since.

Lightwave also enjoyed the feeling of running, though she could not do so as well as her siblings. She was slightly larger than the others, and heavier. Her frame type did not allow for racing, so, when challenged, she often found herself significantly behind her siblings. She did, however, find it fun to sit on her Carrier's shoulders as he ran. Sometimes Carrier would scoop her up in the middle of a race with her siblings and carry her to the made up finish line.

Blurr quite enjoyed running his sparklings to work. He was, at first, not permitted to bring them. The council thought the presence of "Decepticon babies", as someone had referred to them, would interrupt the work of others.

In spite Blurr continued to bring them. It was not only spite that fueled him, though, it was also the lack of alternative care. No one Blurr knew could take the time to watch them for him, and Blurr didn't trust a single person he didn't know. Blurr took the sparklings wherever he went while they were babies. He was somewhat of an important member of the new Elite Guard, and had helped establish it. In the early stages he was often met with judgmental glares upon nozzle feeding at a meeting. It wasn't until the guard and society were fully established that Blurr was told he should refrain from bringing his sparklings to work, and especially refrain from feeding them in public. At that point they were all about one, and still being half nozzle fed.

Blurr ignored the council and continued to bring them, and feed them until they were weaned off entirely. Anyone who had a problem with it would just have to deal with it.

As much as the council insisted the presence of Blurr's sparklings decreased work ethic Blurr was smart enough to know better. The little things were two years old, and while they were fast, and curious, and could, at times, get a bit rambunctious, they were nothing Blurr couldn't handle.

For the most part they ran around Blurrs office. Nobody could even see them.

On a few occasion, though, Lightwave managed to sneak away and explore the facility. Of the four she was the most curious. She had developed the quickest among the four. Blurr had to replace her crib with a regular birth much sooner than expected because she was constantly escaping to sleep in with him. Blurr didn't want her to accidentally hurt herself why climbing out of the crib so she was given a berth. Of course this just encouraged her behavior. Lightwave appeared to have some level of separation issues.

Despite this, she seemed to have no issues wandering around Autobot headquarters alone.

Blurr was sure to keep track of them as he walked to his office.

Upon approaching the building Blurr placed Lightwave and Zippy on the ground. Jazz continued to hold his and her brothers hand as Blurr took Zippy's hand and instructed him to take Lightwave's hand.

With stiff posture and a high head Blurr began his descent into the building. He and his sparklings were met with many disapproving stares.

Blurr didn't care.

He knew where his sparklings came from better than anyone, and he, and his army of two year olds, stroke through Autobot headquarters with more confidence than any other bot in that building could muster.

A couple of the council members tried vigorously to remove Blurr from the elite guard. They claimed he was unfit for duty considering his current position and former relations. Luckily for Blurr, Optimus and Preceptor, who headed the new council, were always quick to shoot the idea down.

Blurr was important to the Elite Guard, and while Optimus was reluctant to allow Blurr to go on real missions until his Sparklings were old enough to be left home alone, he was still a great advocate for Blurr's exemplary skills.

Blurr dragged the sparklings into the office and closed the door behind him.

Bluewave immediately took to the floor. Lightwave climbed into her Carriers chair and pushed off against the desk to make it spin. Jazz grabbed onto the arm of the chair and took a few runs around before hopping on with her sister.

Zippy sat on the floor with his brother and the two practiced their chirolinguistics. Both enjoyed the activity. It allowed Zippy to communicate more effectively, while not requiring his lazy brother to have to do much moving.

Zippy had some difficulty communicating on the level he was supposed to at this age. He often spoke through hand. He could tell a lot through someone's hands.

Blurr, seeing that everyone was properly occupied, got to work reading over the data pads that riddled his desk. Blurr was left to stand and pace as the two femmes entertained themselves with the chair. Blurr would occasionally assist them in making the chair spin, taking a break from his reports for a moment or two.

As Jazz and Lightwave spun around a symphony of giggles escaped the the two little femmes. Blurr couldn't help but smile. He loved seeing his Sparklings happy.

After entertaining the girls for a while Blurr moved to the two little Mechs. He sat on the floor with them and let Zippy practice hand with him as he read over a data pad. Blurr could not help but smile as Zippy repeating "carrier very fast," as many times as he could. It was one of many simple statements he could recite.

Bluewave hugged his Carrier and fell asleep halfway in his lap.

When Blurr was not overwhelmed with work, and the sparklings were in a fairly calm mood, this was the normal routine for the family.

As Blurr read through the data pad, provided a suitable napping place, and practiced hand, his door opened.

"Blurr," Cliffjumper said upon entering.

Blurr looked up from his data pad, "yes?" He asked.

"Optimus is requesting your presence in his office. Sooner than later."

"Alright, I'll be right in," Blurr gently pried Bluewave's arms from his waist and sat him back up, "Would you mind watching them for a few minutes?" Blurr request, standing up.

"Sure," Cliffjumper agreed, stepping into the room as Blurr stepped out, "but of you're gone for more than ten minutes I'm leaving."

"Don't worry, Cliffjumper, they still don't bite. Would you rather they escape into the building?" Blurr challenged, not sure how long he'd be gone.

Cliffjumper scowled, "just get to the meeting. The sooner you get there the sooner you get back."

Blurr smirked, "Thanks Cliff."

With that Blurr was gone. Leaving Cliffjumper alone with the four sparklings.

* * *

"I- don't think I understand. What does that have to do with anything?" Asked Blurr, furrowing his brow with confusion.

"We just thought- considering everything that happened and all-" Optimus' words came out slightly choppy. Eventually he let out a small sigh, deciding it better not to beat around the bush, "we just don't want you to be compromised Blurr. The possibility of your processor affecting your behavior upon the chance of you being reunited with Shockwave - it's a risk we're required to take into consideration. One compromised agent leads to all compromised agent."

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't appreciate the implication that I would let anything like that disrupt my ability to work. When the time comes for me to return to the field, I will. There should be no question about it."

"We know that Blurr, but…" Optimus tried to find his words, "Trauma is a tricky thing. There's no telling what effect it's taken on you."

"I'm sure if the time comes I will be fully able to control myself, sir."

"I'm sorry, Blurr, but it's just too much of a risk. If you ever want to return to the field you'll be required to speak with a therapist, which you have very adamantly refused to do."

Blurr half scowled, "I don't exactly have the time for things like that. I have never been keen on letting things that are ultimately unnecessary take up the time I could be using to be better serve the Elite Guard,"

"Well, you won't be serving the Elite guard for much longer if you _don't_ complete the therapy Blurr. The council has called 're afraid that you may hesitate to report on your former bond mate."

"He was _never_ my bond mate," Blurr growled. A second later he caught himself. Blurr had gotten very good at hiding his emotions from his colleagues. They did sometimes rear their ugly head, though.

Optimus let out a small sigh, "Preceptor and I can only vouch for you so much. The rest of the council has a say in the decisions we make. I want you on the team, Blurr, more than anybody, and I know that's what you want too. But the council needs to see that you're healthy enough to be there. Otherwise, you're just a hazard" Optimus stood and came around the desk, "just please, take some time to reconsider," he proposed, escorting Blurr to the door, "we need you on our team, Blurr,"

Blurr paused in the doorway. He kept his eyes locked on the door frame before looking up at Optimus, "thank you for the offer," he said quietly, then taking his leave.

* * *

"So what did he want?" Asked Cliffjumper and Blurr entered the office.

Blurr didn't speak for a moment. He made his way to the chair, which had been abandoned, and fell into it with a heavy slump, "he was concerned about how I would perform in the field," said Blurr after a moment.

Cliffjumper, who had been sitting on the floor with Bluewave in his lap, removed the sparkling and stood up. He approached the desk, "he offer up the shrink again?" The red bot inquired, crossing his arms.

Blurr simply nodded, he leaned forward, putting his weight on the desk, "now he says the rest of the council is calling for it. If the war starts up again and they need Intel bots I'm not allowed the be a field agent unless I get this done." he fell back in his seat, "Apparently I'm a 'hazard'," Blurr could feel the anger burning towards the surface, "I might be kicked out of the Elite Guard entirely!"

Upon seeing his Carrier in distress Zippy climbed into Blurr's lap and began outlining symbols on his cheek. Blurr calmed at this action. He let out the smallest smile as he took his Sparklings hand and gave it a kiss, "I love you too," he said quietly.

"So what are you going to do?" Asked Cliffjumper as Little Jazz jumped up to try and grab his arm, "you can't just leave the issue hangin', like you always do. This is the big leagues this time. You're either in or you're not, and this your only way in." Cliffjumper eventually put his arm out of Little Jazz to jump on and hang off of.

Blurr kept a servo to his head as he thought, and Zippy continued to draw outlines across his plating.

"I don't know," Blurr admitted after a while, "I'm at a loss on this one to be completely honest. It's not as though I have all the time in the world to spend getting my head checked out. What's the point anyways? It'll probably be messed up again by the end of the next war."

Cliffjumper placed the femme on the ground as he approached the desk, "well, of it's any consolation," he started, "I'd recommend you do it."

Blurr half scoffed, "and since where you so concerned about my well-being?" He asked, half joking. He was poking fun at Cliffjumper's seemingly sudden attitude change in the past solar cycle.

"Hardy har har," Cliffjumper said stiffly as he placed his hands stop the desk to lean against, "I'm serious,"

"Well so am I," Blurr nearly shot back, sitting up further, "this past solar cycle you've gone almost full blown nanny on me, Cliffjumper. I'm almost almost beginning to miss our tiffs."

Cliffjumper ignored him. He stood up straight, "look, Blurr, if you're not going to do this for yourself, then do it for them," he gestured the four sparklings scattered about the room, "they're more important than any war." He looked back to Blurr, "I know you can't keep this act up forever," he made his way towards the door, "someday you're going to break," he stopped in the opening and looked back to his colleague, "and no one will be there to pick up the pieces."

Blurr was then left alone with his sparklings.

He suddenly found himself with a lot to think about.

* * *

Later that night, after getting home, Blurr fed his sparklings dinner before corralling them into the wash racks for a bath.

Jazz rushed in and out of the room while she still had the opportunity, but made no real protest. She just wanted to run around for as long as she could before being stuck in the tub. Zippy and Bluewave put up no fight whatsoever, so getting those three in was a sintch.

Then came Lightwave.

Lightwave had yet to outgrow her hatred of baths. She knew the most words between the four of them so her protests were often riddled with half complete "I hate you's" and "I hate baths," along with a generally long lasting and ear shatteringly loud series of No's.

She squirmed in her Carrier's arms. It was difficult for Blurr to effectively hold onto her, as she was slightly heavier than the others, and quite sharp.

Blurr, not wanting to disturb the other three's bath time, often took Lightwave in by herself first.

He would have allowed her to refrain from the bath for another week, but Jazz would whine and complain, and drag Bluewave into the protest. At that point Blurr would only have one sparkling on his side and no one would end up getting clean.

So, he had to wash everyone at the same time, no matter how cumbersome it might end up being.

Despite Lightwave's adamant and strong protests Blurr managed to drag the poor sparkling to the wash racks and place her in the tub. He had learned by now that, when he managed to get her into the tub, moving became out of the question. If he moved, she climbed out, and the process had to start all over again.

Blurr had attempted, on many occasions, to integrate the uncooperative sparkling into bath time with her siblings. He thought that the presence of her brothers and sisters would prompt a more positive response from the femme.

It didn't work.

Blurr, in no way, enjoyed putting his sparkling through such strain. She was clearly very stressed under the conditions of the wash racks, and it seemed nothing Blurr did assisted in the problem. He attempted to give her a shower, wash her outside the wash racks, change the time of the bath. Nothing seemed to work.

Blurr found himself, every other week, sitting in the tub with a crying, screaming, sparkling, trying to get her clean.

When she was so upset she often switched back and forth between her purple and gray color schemes.

As frustrated as Blurr was with this routine, it also made him quite sad. The last thing he wanted to do was cause his sparkling harm. Her whales often brought Blurr back to a different time.

A darker time.

He quite often had to pause bath time so he could get his thoughts in order again. In these moments Lightwave would calm. She would look up at her Carrier, eyes pleading. A single thought rushing through her young processor, "Why is Carrier sad?"

Lightwave didn't like to make Carrier sad, but she could never figure what it was that made Carrier sad. After seeing her Carrier sad Lightwave often, in an attempt to cheer him up, splashed about the water, soaking the both of them.

The splashing would break Blurr from his trance, and he immediately got back to washing, which, in turn, sent Lightwave into an upset cry once again. By the time this happened, though, Blurr was already almost done.

Lightwave watched her Carrier carefully as she was dried off. Carrier always looked sad. Carrier's eyes were always drooping, and dark, but he kept on just the smallest smile when he could.

"There," he said quietly, wiping her off with a towel, "That wasn't so bad, right?"

Lightwave shook her head light, "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly, keeping her optics glued to the floor.

Blurr was taken aback by this response. He had never received an apology from the toddler.

"It's-" he wasn't sure how to approach. After a moment he smiled. He wiped a bit of cleaning solution from her cheek and assured her it was okay, "We don't like what we don't like," Blurr said quietly. He let out just the slightest giggle, "But if you could make it a little easier on Carrier, I would appreciate it."

Lightwave nodded vigorously, hoping the deal would make her Carrier smile again, which it did.

Blurr finished drying her off before summoning the other three sparklings.

Lightwave sat right outside the tub as her siblings got their baths. She peaked over the tub wall and simply observed.

Blurr sat in the shallow cleaning solution with them. Bluewave and Little Jazz were playing around in the solution and, for the most part, washing themselves, while Blurr let Zippy sit in his lap and splash around a bit.

Zippy much preferred facing his Carrier during bath time, and playing with the water. Zippy loved the sensation of the cleaning liquid. He liked to run his hand through it and attempt to pick it up.

As he explored the liquid he sometimes placed his hands on his Carrier's chest in an attempt to feel the spark beat. Zippy was generally satisfied by his Carrier's EM field, but it comforted him to check and make sure Carrier's spark was still there.

Zippy began drawing symbols on Blurr's chest again, indicating he wanted to tell Blurr something. Blurr slipped his hands in front of the sparklings and let the little thing communicate. He said, "Carrier is warm," many times before Blurr grabbed his hands and shook them around a bit. Blurr leaned down so that his face was nuzzling his sparkling's. Zippy giggled with joy as his Carrier's helm rubbed against his own. Zippy pulled his tiny hands out of Blurr's and took hold of Carrier's cheeks.

Lightwave observed this behavior from her place outside the large tub. Their apartment was built for a bot of much larger size, so everything was a bit big, even for Blurr. It was a good thing, though, it gave the mini speedsters some room to move.

Lightwave did not understand her twin brother. She knew well enough that they emerged from the same spark, at the same time, from the same Sire. But he was just so different. They were all so different. Everyone had on light colors. They were all sleek and aerodynamic, even as toddlers.

Lightwave looked down at herself. She switched her colors. Purple to Gray. She then looked back at her siblings again. Why was Jazz so fast? And why was Bluey so lazy? Why was Zippy so...different?

And why was Carrier so sad?

Questions whisked about the sparklings young processor. She didn't think much of the questions she asked herself, they were just observations. Observations that told the little sparkling that something about her family wasn't quite right.

Though she had these thoughts she could not comprehend them. She did not understand the questions she asked herself, or why they were being asked. This was her family. They were not strange, or abnormal, they were what they were. Whatever that was.

Lightwave continued to observe the bath time of her other siblings.

Little Jazz was starting a small whirlpool in the tub, which Carrier quickly brought to a halt. Bluewave seemed to struggle to keep himself upright.

Before everyone was allowed to leave the tub Blurr inspected them, making sure they were at least clean enough to last another two weeks. After everyone was deemed clean they were released. As soon as the order was given Jazz leaped out of the tub and ran around in circles until she was dry. After that she went running about the house.

Blurr carried Zippy out of the tub, and caught Bluewave as he almost fell out.

Blurr dried off the two sparklings before everyone made their way to the main living area. Blurr encouraged Zippy to walk there himself. He let out a small whine upon leaving his Carrier's arms, but did eventually get to walking. He let a hand rest on Carrier as he did, but at least it was better than nothing.

Jazz rushed about the house as fast as her little pedes would take her. At one point she ran circles around her twin brother, who was seated on the floor, and yelled, "RaceRaceRaceRaceRace!" over and over again before she took her brother's hand and dragged him into a race with her. She won, but only because Bluewave had no interest in going his top speed.

Lightwave sat on the couch and giggled at the sight of her siblings racing. Blurr took a seat beside her, and Zippy too the seat beside him. The three watched as Jazz raced around with Bluewave until Bluewave got tired of it, and joined the rest of the family on the couch.

Blurr felt quite relaxed as another sparkling joined the pile, taking a seat beside Lightwave.

"Alright, speed demon," Blurr called to the last sparkling left rushing about the house. Blurr plucked the femme off the floor as she ran past the couch. He placed the still giggling speedster in his lap, where he gave her a quick tickle before she escaped and crawled over to the remaining spot on the other side of Zippy.

"Time to calm down," Blurr instructed, "No more running. No more exploring. Just sitting."

Jazz grumbled something that Blurr supposed was words, most likely a protest about not being allowed to run.

Zippy, and Bluewave calmly accepted quiet time, and Lightwave let her body rest while her mind continued to work. Little Jazz had a hard time calming down for the night, which was one of the reasons Blurr held the "Quiet times," every night before the sparklings were put down for recharge.

Jazz had a hard time keeping herself in check. When she wasn't moving she often found herself shaking. It scared the little speedster. Her clocks ran too fast for her own good, and the few words in her mind raced so fast she could hardly understand them. Jazz had a very difficult time controlling herself. Her body wanted to move, it always wanted to move.

Blurr tried to keep the nights calm for her. She could practice control, and concentration. Things Blurr had to learn as a young speedster. Everything around him always seemed to happen so much slower. His body would vibrate with need of movement, and his processor would race through every possibility, every word that could be said, before anyone got to even speak.

Blurr was attempting to teach this control to Jazz, so that one day she wouldn't have to panic when her body kept moving and refused to shut down.

Blurr put a hand on his shaking sparkling's head. At the touch her mind calmed. It continue to race, but it no longer panicked her.

Blurr turned on the vid screen before them in an attempt to further distract her as she tried to get her body to calm down.

Blurr relaxed as she relaxed.

The Carrier concentrated on the warmth of his four little creations as they slowly, one by one, slipped into recharge. The next day he had the day off, so Blurr looked forward to a day he could spend with his sparklings outside of the office.

He could help Zippy with his writing and hand. He could help Jazz concentrate and control her speed, and teach Bluewave how to use energy without wearing himself out. Blurr often spend the day trying to help his little creations with their issues. He did the best he could for them.

Despite his efforts, though, Blurr often found a great deal of worry hanging over him when it came to Lightwave.

She had the mind of her Sire, that much was clear. Blurr didn't know how the mind of a genius worked. He didn't know how to handle Lightwave's endless curiosity. Blurr didn't know how to deal with his beautiful little dark purple femme getting the majority of disgusted stares from passerby.

He loved Lightwave, more than any spark could ever fathom, but he feared for her. He feared he wouldn't be able to take care of her properly. He wouldn't be able to meet her intellectually, or physically. He could help her to ignore the stares others threw at her, but, In Blurr's mind, that wasn't enough.

While all of the Sparklings shared traits from both Sire and Carrier, the other three had been gifted lighter, more inviting colors. Colors that could blend in the with Autobots.

Lightwave, however, was gifted with red eyes, and a dark purple paint job. She was blessed with amazing abilities that met those of her Sire. She could color shift, and shapeshift, and her mind was an amazing word that had yet to be explored, yet to meet its full potential.

Blurr feared, however, that the bots in this city could not accept the gifted sparkling as one of their own. Biased grew thick in the new Autobot home base. Blurr and his sparklings were the centre of many a rumor, all of which Blurr managed to ignore.

Blurr knew that Lightwave would realize her differences and wonder. She would wonder as her Sire wondered. She would think on the same level her Sire thought, analyzing every snippet of information her processor managed to get its hand on.

Lightwave would undoubtedly be the target of much ridicule.

And Blurr would protect her from all of it.

* * *

Late into the night, Blurr watched the vidscreen.

His mind remained unphased by the recent news that had been keeping him up for hours, while the sparklings remained fast asleep at his sides.

The News reel played for hours on end.

"Breaking news,"

The News man said,

"Direct from the council,"

He repeated,

"Ships have been spotted-"

Over and over and over again.

Blurr watched every time.

He could not pull his eyes away.

"War has been declared."


	2. Chapter 2

Blurr didn't know how to explain war to a sparkling.

So he didn't.

He let his work run its course, and he let the sparklings go unaware of the very serious situation the Autobots had found themselves in.

Blurr never learned who declared war on who, but it didn't matter. War was war, no matter how it was sliced. Both sides would always lose in the end.

For the next Solar Cycle Blurr worked vigorously to decrypt the the endless streams of code delivered by the Intel bots, as well as look over and extract information from the piles of reports that were delivered to his desk everyday. His processor was the fastest one they had. If there was one bot who could do all of this within a timely manor it was Blurr.

It was almost overwhelming, if Blurr was being entirely honest with himself. He lost a lot of time with the sparklings, and generally ended up bringing work home with him and skipping recharge to get it all done.

Breaks were practically non-existent for intel bots. Blurr was lucky he wasn't a field agent, otherwise seeing his Sparklings would be out of the question as well.

He still considered it, though, despite the fact. Every day since the war broke out Cliffjumper and Optimus approached Blurr and asked him to join the field agents. They both said they would inform the council that Blurr had completed the necessary processor check, even though he hadn't. They told Blurr that they'd let the sparklings live in the base so that they'd be under constant watch and he'd have nothing to worry about. This, of courses, was not an effective strategy for easing his nerves.

Zippy was practically blind, he was completely nonverbal, and he seemed to have a great deal of distrust for anyone who wasn't a part of his own family. Lightwave had recently learned how to speak with real words 100% of the time. She asked a lot of question. Her mind worked only slightly quicker than her Carriers, and, although she couldn't run very fast, she could certainly speak very fast. Jazz still struggled with her timers, and had a very hard time, at this point in her life, keeping herself calm without the help of her carrier. She was fine during the day, but when it came time to wind down she struggled. Bluewave had a spark with low energy output, a fact Blurr had only learned recently upon taking him to Red Alert after he fainted. He was getting treated for it, but it was unclear how long he would have to receive treatment.

Blurr's sparklings needed their Carrier more than any war needed him. As much as Blurr missed his time in the field, he knew where his obligations lay.

None of this ever stopped Cliffjumper and Optimus from trying though.

Blurr paced in his office reading over the hundredth data pad. He wanted to get his work done during office hours so that he might be able to spend even just a small amount of time concentrating on his sparklings. Zippy and Lightwave were coming up on four solar cycles, and while one could hardly keep quiet for more than a minute, the other was completely silent. Blurr wanted to take the time to pay some attention to the very talkative Lightwave, and concentrate some attention on the silent Zippy, who thoroughly enjoyed drawing symbols on his Carrier's plating.

Blurr also wanted to help Little Jazz concentrate on the world around her, try to help her to slow down to it's speed so she could be calm, and content in her own frame. Jazz loved going fast, but even at three solar cycles she could already tell that her condition was not "normal." This put her in great distress, a distress that her Carrier did not have much time to defuse.

Bluewave also needed his Carrier's attention. Blurr was required to scan him every two hours to make sure his spark had not depleted in energy at all. He required special energon, which Blurr had to pick up from the med-centre every week. Between those doses of energon Bluewave had to be fed almost constantly. His condition wasn't only concerning, it was also very expensive. Most of the energy being dug up and produced was reserved for the war, so energon for civilians was almost impossibly expensive.

Blurr still brought his little creatures to the office, but he had no choice but to practically ignore them. Hundreds of data pads were thrown onto his desk every day, and he had very little time to deal with them all. The Elite Guard was short handed on the homebase planet. Blurr was the only Intel agent on planet so his workload was quadruple that of many of the other homebase agents who had more bots within their ranks.

Cliffjumper, the head of intelligence, also received a great deal of work, however, he passed most of it onto Blurr. The two could sometimes be found working together, seeing as how they were the only two bots with access to all of the reports sent into Autobot headquarters. Cliffjumper, upon getting a report, would send it to Blurr to be read over, simplified, decoded, picked apart, whatever needed to be done. He would request Blurr's opinion on the next move, and where to send the agent's next, before receiving the data pad back, reading it over himself, and then making the next move. If a very important report was turned in and sent to Blurr, Blurr would send it back without edits, and Ciffjumper would refer to the head of Military operations.

Blurr was often left with a full day's work still left at the end of his shift. The war didn't start off too great for the Autobots, so neglecting any of the assignments given to him was out of the question.

Blurr didn't want to have to choose his loyalties. His Sparklings needed him, the Autobots needed him, and Blurr could not tell which was more important at present. If he didn't do his work than things could go arie for the field agents. If a report wasn't put through in a timely manner who knows what kind of tide turning information could be missed? If they lost Blurr would be back where he started, and that was the last thing he wanted. He would do everything he could to help his fellow Autobots win the war, or at least become equally powered. He was going to preserve the world he lived in. Keep it safe for his Sparklings.

But in doing this he would be neglecting his Sparklings. They needed love and care. They needed to be told that things would be okay, that their world was not danger, that the war being waged would someday come to an end. Lightwave needed an ear, Zippy needed touch, Jazz needed guidance and Bluewave needed attention.

And the war needed Blurr.

He knew where his obligations lay. They were not in the field. They were to his Sparklings. Blurr knew this, and yet, still, the war took him in a heavy grip, hard to break.

Blurr thought about this continually. He thought about it when Zippy reached up to be held but Blurr could not comply because he had two data pads in his hands already. He thought about it while trying to sleep. The sparklings piled themselves on him, aware that this was the only real time they got to spend with Carrier.

Flashes of memory consumed Blurr's processor. They hurt, but they were fuel.

That life. The constant fighting, the constant concern that someone would catch him, and kill him, or torture him during the war. The bots he'd seen die, and the battles they'd lost ran like a movie in his mind.

Then after the war…

The nightmares often shook him awake. The large red optic hovering over him, sinister and menacing. Blurr hated it. He relived those seemingly endless nights nearly everyday, so often he worked hard to keep his mind distracted. Everything seemed to get worse after the war.

The life he lived with Shockwave was a reality far from anything the sparklings would ever even be aware existed. Blurr was determined to keep the past in the past, hoping he could avoid the question of Sire among his sparklings. They were bound to ask at some point why others seemed to have Sires while they had nothing but Blurr.

Blurr was trying to think up an answer to that question. He didn't want them to know about Shockwave.

What he'd done to Blurr-

Where they came from…

Blurr shook off his thoughts. He had work to do, and thinking about the past, predicting the future, it was just a disaster waiting to happen. He had more important things to worry about. Like what his sparklings would be eating that night.

Being in the Elite Guard gave Blurr access to somewhat more energy than many civilians. He still had to pay for it, though, and that was where the problem lay. Energon was getting expensive, seeing as how most of it was going towards the war effort. Not a lot was kept on planet, so resources were limited. Blurr still had plenty of money, sure. He still had some savings from when he helped his fellow Autobots escape, and he was being paid generously to work for the Elite Guard. But between energy, rent, taxes, and taking care of four slightly issued sparklings, Blurr's barrel was beginning to run dry.

He wasn't about to let anyone else know that, though.

Blurr finished up the datapad in his hand before flopping down in his desk chair. Zippy was on him in an instant. The sparkling rested an audio receptor to his Carrier's chest, and took a good long listen.

Blurr smiled at this. He rested a light hand on Zippy's head, "I'm still alive," Blurr whispered, before picking up another data pad.

Bluewave, who had been sitting beside the chair, wrapped his arms around his Carrier's leg and fell into recharge.

Blurr hardly noticed, he was so absorbed in the report.

Before Blurr could finish a hand snatched the data pad from his servos. Blurr was surprised. He hadn't even heard anyone come in.

"Is this one of mine?"

Arcee looked over the data pad she'd stolen from Blurr.

To say Blurr was surprised would be an understatement. Arcee was away on mission last time he checked. She wasn't due to return to base in who knows how long.

"Arcee!" Blurr called, pinning zippy to his chest and standing up. Blurr attempted to move, but soon realized there was a weight on his pede. He looked down at the sleeping sparkling attached to his leg. He decided it best not to move, and looked back to Arcee, "What are you doing back? I thought you weren't supposed to return to base until-"

"Missions over, Blurr," Arcee said, interrupting him, "I heard we need more help in the ground crew, so-" she spread her arms out, as if gesturing her presence, "Here I am." She put her hands on her hips and looked around the data pad filled room, "Looks like you could use it." she tossed the datapad she'd confiscated on the desk, "Primus, Blurr, how many hours do they have you working?"

Blurr was almost surprised by the question, "As many as they can, I suppose," Blurr said with a light shrug.

Arcee took another good look about the room. She spotted the sparkling attached to Blurr's leg, and another resting right behind the chair fiddling with a data pad. Then there was the one Blurr was holding. That was three, "Where's the fourth one?" Arcee asked, scanning the room again.

Blurr didn't understand the question at first, but soon caught on, "She's on the hallway getting out her energy," Blurr explained, "This room isn't big enough to run in."

"Do you bring them everyday?"

"Of course, what else would I do?"

Arcee picked up a data pad and looked it over for a moment, "Yeah, right, that makes sense," she mumbled, then tossing away the data pad again, "So, how did you take the news?" she asked, her tone becoming somewhat sullen.

Blurr furrowed his brow, putting down the sparkling in his arms, "What news?" he asked.

Arcee seemed taken aback by this, "You mean- they haven't told you? But I thought-" she paused, as if trying to think. She put a hand to her processor, trying to recall exactly what she'd heard. After a moment she turned her attention back to Blurr, "But they told me you knew," she said, confused. Then she scowled, "Oh, that's a dirty trick," she mumbled. "I think you should go talk to Optimus Prime," she said, some anger slipping into her tone, though it was not directed at Blurr, "Before he calls you."

"Why?" Blurr inquired, "What is this about?"

Arcee seemed reluctant to answer, "I think it's best if they tell you themselves," she said, "It's not my place to speak on matters of the council."

"The council? Arcee, what's this about?"

"Something unfair and immoral," she almost snapped, "I'll watch the sparklings, Optimus should be hailing you any minute,"

Blurr looked back at Zippy for a brief second, well aware of how much he didn't like strangers. "You're going to have to introduce yourself first," said the Carrier, "Otherwise you might scare them."

Lightwave leaped out from behind the chair, "I'm not scared!" she called, running around the desk and stopping in front of Arcee, "You're special agent Arcee of Iacon. You used to be a teacher before you became and intel agent. You held secret code in your head which screwed up your memory. Now you're all better," Lightwave put out a hand, "I'm Lightwave," she introduced herself.

Arcee, after recovering from her slight shock, smirked down at the kid. The pink bot kneeled before the sparkling and shook her hand, "You really know your stuff kid. Read my file?"

"I've read everyone's file," Lightwave explained, "I read yours just now while you and Carrier were talking. He says you're really good at what you do. He also says you're nice and we should trust you, so I trust you." Lightwave gave Arcee a pleasant smile.

Arcee smiled back, "Well, keep up the good work, Lightwave. Maybe you'll make it in the Elite,"

Lightwave's eyes widened, "You really think so!?" she asked, surprised that such a highly regarded agent would say such a thing, "That's my dream!" she cried. Before she could continue she was taken under the arms and lifted by her Carrier, "Lets not get ahead of ourselves," said Blurr, resting the child on his hip, "There's no guarantee we'll even need a guard by the time you're old enough,"

Lightwave looked to her data pad and began flipping through it, "Well, according to the history records the last war we fought with the Decepticons lasted millions of years, so It would make sense that-" she was interrupted when Blurr snatched the data pad from her hands. "I think that's enough learning for today," he determined, then putting the sparkling down, "I have to visit with Optimus Prime," Blurr announced, "Lightwave, please make sure Zippy is introduced properly to the newcomer,"

Lightwave gave a happy solute, "Will do, Carrier," she chirped, then running back over to Arcee as Blurr began to take his leave.

Blurr could not help but let a bit of concern trickle through his processor as he made his way to Optimus' office.

What news was awaiting him on the other side of that door? Arcee seemed quite distressed by the fact that Blurr had yet to hear about it, whatever it was. She also seemed angry, calling it a "dirty trick," and scowling at the thought.

Blurr was generally good at putting things together, but this had him stumped.

He reached Optimus Prime's office in record time. He was hesitant to knock, but eventually found the nerve.

Optimus called for him to come in.

The leader seemed surprised to see him.

"Blurr," he greeted, "I was just about to comm you."

"I assumed," Blurr said, sitting down, "Arcee told me you may be wanting to see me. She said you had- news?" Blurr was hardly sure what he was asking, "Something important it seemed."

"Yes," Optimus confirmed, leaning over his desk, putting his weight on his elbows and letting his hands up near his face.

Something about the bot look uncomfortable. He seemed to be in deep thought, looking for the right way to phrase his next statement, and contemplating if he should say something at all. After a bit of silence Blurr spoke again, "Something about the council?" he urged, now, more than ever, looking for an answer.

Optimus lowered his hands to the table, "Yes." he confirmed again, then letting it sit for another moment, "we were recently offered a deal, you see, and, in spite of what could be better judgement, we took it...I needed to see you, Blurr, because you-and your sparklings-are at the center of this deal."

Blurr's processor worked hard, trying to figure exactly what it was Optimus was about to tell him.

Prime continued, "We managed to capture a high ranking Decepticon," Optimus explained, "And, in exchange for his life, we…" Optimus trailed off, clearly trying to keep his emotions in check, but finding it difficult to do so, "The Council. Agreed to his terms. They wrote up a contract," Optimus brought up a data pad, "I thought you should hear it."

Blurr felt something leap in his spark. The realization of who Optimus was referring to came barreling down on the intel bot like a building. His eyes widened as thoughts, memories, and fears came racing back to his processor.

Optimus began to read.

"Upon the exchange of information, by our command, the prisoner will be permitted to meet three times a week with his bond mate, and his Sparklings," he read, "Furthermore, the failure to deliver proper, useful, or truthful information will result in immediate imprisonment, and possible execution. The prisoner will be permitted, upon visitation, to touch, talk to, and in general, interact with his so-called "family"."

"Stop," Blurr demanded quietly, his body tensing as he looked to the floor.

Optimus continued reading, "the former field Agent, current homebase agent, Blurr, will be required, by law, to comply with the demands of the deal set by the council and the prisoner,"

"Stop reading," Blurr demanded again, holding at his processor in an attempt to halt the endless memories flooding his processor.

"The Sparklings in question, listed in order of age, Autobot Lightwave, Autobot Zippy, Autobot Bluewave and Autobot Jazz, will be required to visit with their Sire, the prisoner, without accompaniment by their Carrier, Autobot agent Blurr."

Blurr finally managed to look at his superior, "what is this Optimus?" He spat.

"this deal is bound by law, all parties involved will be punished if they are not complicit with the terms presented. Signed by the council, the deal has been made." Optimus Prime lowered the data pad, "with Shockwave."

Blurr leaned forward, a scowl set deep in his face, "tell me you're not serious," he growled, then flying to his feet and taking a short pace about the room.

"It's already been put in place," Optimus explained, "the order has been given. _This_ is your next mission. No more data pads, no more reading reports. You and your sparklings will be required to attend meetings with the prisoner, Shockwave, until he outlives his usefulness. It was a good deal, we're lucky he didn't ask for more. The contract will go into full effect next week, upon your first meeting." Optimus stood and approached the shocked and enraged agent, "Blurr you have to understand."

Blurr shook his head, "No- no no no, you don't _get_ to make deals like this, you don't get to use me and my sparklings as _pawns_ in your little _war game."_

"And you don't give the orders," Optimus replied harshly, "This is life or death, Blurr, the information we could get out of Shockwave is too much to pass up."

"You really think he's that valuable?" Blurr snapped, "He let me go. He ruined everything the Decepticons built, so if you think, for one _second_ that Mr. High and Mighty, Megatron himself, let that monster stay where he was than you're delusional. He's a traitor, and you know it. He doesn't have anything to offer us."

"I beg to differ. Before making the deal he was required to offer us information. Prove his worth. What he told us checks out. From that sliver we managed to capture two Decepticon bases _and_ a desperately needed energon mine. But he will only give us more if he gets to see _you._ And his sparklings."

"Don't you call them that," Blurr hissed, "And he's not so desperate. He's not stupid either. He's only letting you get what he wants you to get, and _thats. It."_ Blurr turned towards the door, "We're done here," he growled.

"If you don't do it," Optimus started, causing Blurr to pause, "Then we'll have no choice but to remove you from the Elite guard."

Blurr took a moment to respond. He turned to his superior with a scowl, deeper than before, "You think you're so smart," he said, turning fully to the prime.

Optimus shrugged, "I have my moments. In any case, it's a simple mission Blurr. The fact that you're unwilling to complete it implies you're no longer fit for the job."

Blurr took a few good stomps towards the mech, "Now you listen here, _buster,"_ Blurr poked his superior in the chest, "You think you know what you're talking about, so let me educate you. _You don't._ You think this is as simple as going and seeing the _beast,_ who very frequently _raped me,_ for all of three Solar Cycles. Now let me just take a moment to describe to you _in detail_ what that was like. I can do that, you know," he tone darkened a bit, "Because I'm an _intel agent,_ and I'm made to _remember,"_ Blurr narrowed his eyes, "And I relive what he did to me _every. Single. Day."_ Blurr leaned back and took a good, angry, look at his superior before taking his leave.

As soon as he was gone Optimus dropped his confident facade. He slumped back in his chair, putting a hand to his head as he hunched over the desk, "What am I doing?" he mumbled to himself.

Threatening Blurr? Blurr! Of all people. The bot who helped them escape slavery, who was working day and night for the autobot cause while at the same time taking care of four sparklings _on his own._ He had every right to deny taking part in the deal made with Shockwave.

But this was a war. One the Autobots were rapidly beginning to lose. If Optimus couldn't find a way to turn the tides soon then everyone would be right back where they started, and all of their work would be for nothing. Optimus couldn't let that happen. Not again.

The last thing he wanted was for Blurr to return to his former role as "plaything" for the monster known as Shockwave. Optimus assumed facing the beast would cement their ability to do that.

Blurr rushed back to his office, a scowl still set stiffly on his face.

He entered with the slam of a door, drawing everyone's attention. He scanned the five sets of eyes all locked on him.

He approached the desk. His posture was stiff and angry. Rage almost radiated off his frame.

"Arcee," he said after a moment, "Please take the sparklings out of the room."

"Blurr-"

"Please. Arcee. I don't want them to see this."

After a moment Arcee did as she was told. With the help of Lightwave Arcee managed to urge the sparklings out of the room.

The door closed quietly behind Blurr.

He was alone.

With a hate filled roar Blurr shoved everything off of his desk, sending data pads hurtling across the room. He flipped over his desk and began tearing through the mountains of data pads lining the walls until not one tower was left standing.

He let out an angry, desperate roar before falling to his knees. He stopped himself from falling fully forward by putting his hands out to meet the ground.

After a couple seconds of silence Blurr let out a small whimper. His arms let out from under him as tears began streaming out his optics. He had one thought on his mind.

No.

No, this couldn't be happening. Not now, not when Blurr was safe and his Sparklings were still innocent. Not when he was recovering, and he was calm, and content, working and raising his sparklings.

 _His_ sparklings. Not Shockwaves. Shockwave had nothing to do with them.

Blurr put his hands over his face. He shook as sobs overtook his body.

After a few minutes Blurr forced himself to calm down.

He was not going to let this defeat him. He was not going to let this interfere with the life he had planned for his sparklings. They were going to live, and they were not going to know that the beast they were required to see was their SIre. They couldn't know. Blurr didn't want that.

It was supposed to be him and his sparklings against the world.

But the world was turning against them.

Why couldn't Primus just let them live in peace?

After another moment Blurr climbed too his feet. He took a few seconds to regain his composure entirely. He was going to fight this. He wasn't going to let Shockwave see the sparklings. War, deal, council decisions, they didn't matter. No one had the right to tell Blurr what his Sparklings, and him, would be doing. In that moment he made a decision. It was a difficult one to make, but he was going to do whatever was necessary to keep him and his sparklings safe.

Blurr met his sparklings in the hallway. They were huddled around Arcee, who assured them that everything was alright.

"Blurr," she tried to talk to him, but he was not in the mood,

"Later, Arcee," he insisted calmly, "We can talk later. I have some business to take care of." Blurr then looked to his sparklings, "Come on everyone," he said, putting out his hand.

Zippy was the first to take it. Lightwave took her brothers and her siblings followed the pattern. They marched, in their little line, all the way to Optimus Prime's office.

Blurr didn't knock, he just let himself in. What was etiquette anyways? In a case like this any formalities could very fairly be thrown out the nearest window. Primus knows that's what they were doing to Blurr.

Cliffjumper was there when Blurr walked in.

"Blurr," Cliffjumper greeted, surprised, but relieved at the same time. He approached the blue speedster, "Blurr-" he said again, "Please, try to understand,"

Blurr put a hand out to silence the bot, "Don't even try, Cliffjumper," he said calmly, some malice beginning to slip into his tone as he approached Optimus Prime's desk. He stopped in front of his superior officer, then took a moment to look between the two, "What did you think?" Blurr asked, "That I would just take this lying down?" his scowl deepened, "Because that's what I always do isn't it?" Blurr spat, "Let me make something very clear," he started sternly, " _You_ do not control me. You can give me orders, fine, but this- this goes too far. That _beast_ has no right to see me _or_ my sparklings…" Blurr took a pause, thinking of what he was about to say, "I will not be taking part in this deal," he stood tall before his superiors, "I have been a loyal Elite Guardsman for four million years," he took a vent, and gave a solute, "I am sorry to inform you that I must now resign. I will clear out my office in the morning."

Both of the superior officers were taken aback by the statement.

Blurr turned stiffly to his sparklings, "Solute you're superiors, sweetsparks," Blurr instructed, "And say Goodbye to Agent Cliffjumper."

The sparklings, though slightly confused, did as they were told.

Blurr, who had his back to his superiors, but kept an eye on his sparklings, put out a hand for them to take when they were done. Zippy grabbed on, his siblings not far behind. They formed a line and prepared to take their leave.

Cliffjumper leaped to attention, suddenly recovering from the shock. He ran in front of the speedster, halting his progress, "Blurr, please," he almost begged, "Think about what you're doing-"

"I have," Blurr snapped, offended by the impediment of his progress, "And this is my only option." he pointed an accusing finger at Cliffjumper, "You went behind my back and created a legally binding contract with my former captor. I would use harsher words, but I prefer my sparklings not to hear it. Remember them? There's four, Lightwave, Zippy, Jazz and Bluewave. You must be aware of them, Cliffjumper, considering you've been making executive decision regarding them, as well as me." Blurr glared at the head of intelligence, "That deal doesn't go into effect until next week. If I refuse then you can fire me, or worse, have me arrested. So I'm resigning." Blurr shoved past the red bot, continuing his exit. Cliffjumper reached for the blue bot, grabbing him by the shoulder. Before Cliffjumper could say anything something grabbed his wrist and removed his hand, faster than any bot could comprehend.

Before he knew it, Cliffjumper was on his back, looking up at four small, seemingly angry, faces.

"Stand down," Blurr demanded calmly.

Zippy was the first to step away. He retreated quickly to his Carrier. Then came Jazz, and Bluewave. Lightwave was the last to remove herself.

Cliffjumper sat up with a scowl, "You're training them?" he growled, flying to his feet.

Blurr stood calm with unmatched confidence, "Oh please, you're just out of practice," he half scoffed. Blurr let out a small sigh, looking down at his sparklings, "I guess this is what happens when I let Bumblebee watch them. Come on," he urged his sparklings again, "We're leaving. Please don't attack anyone else."

"Yes Carrier," Lightwave agreed quietly.

Zippy drew something on Blurr's hand, "It's okay, sweetspark," Blurr assured, "He-" Blurr stopped himself, not sure if his next statement was necessarily true any more, "He wouldn't hurt me," he completed, "Not like that."

Optimus spoke up before he was entirely out the door, "Blurr," he called, halting the blue racer, "Please reconsider."

Blurr stood in the doorway. He'd made his decision. He half looked over his shoulder, "I'm sorry Optimus," Blurr took a second to look at his sparklings. A light smile crossed his lips as he ran a light hand over Zippy's head. A second later his smile fell, his eyes looking back to Optimus, "But this is not your decision to make." with that Blurr turned away.

"We could win, Blurr, with this. With what he could give us."

"No." Blurr said sternly, "He's going to play you. And you're going to lose."

With that Blurr took his leave.

Blurr flopped down on his bed, exhausted. Lightwave leaped onto the berth first. She kneeled next to him and looked him in the face, "So...are you not in the Elite Guard any more?" she asked, cocking her head a bit.

Before Blurr could answer the berth was invaded with the rest of the small army. Zippy laid himself on Carrier's chest, resting his head right above Blurr's spark. Bluewave snuggled himself into Blurr's side, opposite where Lightwave was kneeling. Jazz took a few turns about the room before hopping onto the bed. She laid down, but was restless. She vibrated as she laid her head down for rest, trying her hardest to stay calm.

Blurr rested a light hand on her head, relaxing her slightly. His other hand took it's place on Zippy's back as Blurr thought up an answer for Lightwave, "No," Blurr answered honestly, "I am not."

Lightwave lowered herself slightly, "Well...why not?" she asked, a bit of sorrow lacing her tone.

"I was-" Blurr searched for a suitable answer, "Unable to complete a mission. It was beyond my skill set."

"But- you're the best agent they have. What did they want you to do?"

"Nothing important," Blurr answered quickly, "Nothing you need to worry about. You should recharge. You have a big day coming up,"

"You mean school?" Lightwave asked, lifting a brow, "Did you get us in?" she inquired, getting slightly excited.

Blurr smiled, "You know I did."

"Are Jazz and Bluewave coming with us!?" Lightwave asked happily, hopping to her feet.

Blurr put a hand on her wrist and eased her down into the berth, "You'll all be in together, don't worry," he assured, "But Carrier is tired, so we're going to sleep. You can be excited in the morning."

"Okay," Lightwave agreed happily. She gave her Carrier a kiss on the cheek, "Goodnight!" with that she snuggled in and began he descent into sleep.

Blurr forced himself to recharge, knowing that if he stayed awake he would just think.

And that was never a good thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Another Solar Cycle passed. Blurr, after quitting the Elite Guard, managed to get a job as a courier, with the occasional race slipping its way in every once in awhile.

As much as Blurr relished the time he got to spend with his Sparklings the former Intel agent could not help but let a wave of guilt ride over him every time he thought about the war. He was one of the most useful agents they had on base and he'd quit. Just like that. He hadn't even tried to reason with his superiors.

Every time a thought like that invaded Blurr's processor he shook it off. He knew Optimus and the rest of the council would do whatever it took to win the war. He was well aware that the terms drawn up in that contract were not subject to debate. If Blurr wanted to live a peaceful, healthy life with his Sparklings he had no choice but to quit the guard.

This rationalization didn't stop Blurr from wishing he could still be _serving_ the guard. He wanted to help the cause, everyone did. He was in a prime position to do that and they pushed him away.

Within that Solar Cycle all of the sparklings started school. It was all fine, at first, they were all happy to go to school and learn, excited to tell Carrier what they learned every day, what they did, how nice the teachers were. It was all great.

Then, as time went on, the sparklings became more distant. Lightwave especially, who had been the most excited to start attending. She didn't talk as much as she used to, about anything. She swished her energon around in its cube for a while before actually drinking it, clearly caught in deep thought. She lost interest in racing around with her siblings, and reading, and collecting information. Really she lost interest in everything.

All of Blurr's attempts to address this turned up empty. It saddened him to see his Sparkling like this. What happened to his happy, curious, fact filled daughter? Blurr attempted to talk to the school about it, considering it seemed the rest of his children were sworn to secrecy and he certainly wasn't getting anywhere with Lightwave.

The school gave him a less than satisfactory answer, "Children like them," started the principal, apparently referring to _all_ of Blurr's offspring, "can sometimes be hard to handle. They are having a difficult time fitting in with the rest of us, but it should pass in time."

Blurr lifted a brow at this answer, "I'm sorry, I'm confused," he said, "what do you mean children like _them?_ I'm just here to talk about Lightwave. What do my other sparklings have to do with this?"

"Well, Blurr, frankly, all of your children have proven to be something of a distraction," her tone became almost sullen, but in a condescending way, "which is understandable," she added quickly, "considering the circumstances. No one expects them to fit in, so we're quite forgiving."

Blurrs face twisted with even more confusion, "I don't follow," said Blurr, "they're Autobots, like everyone else. I came here to ask about Lightwave. And only Lightwave. To see if she was getting bullied."

The principal nodded, "oh, well, yes, they all are, to an extent. I just want you to rest assured that we are trying to deal with the situation. Sparklings will be sparklings, you know, and Autobots will be Autobots. It's just the natural order of things."

"I don't think I understand your meaning. What does being Autobots have to do with-" Blurr cut himself off, suddenly realizing what she was saying.

The principal seemed to jump to attention, realizing what it was Blurr wasn't understanding, "oh! I'm sorry, I understand now. You see, despite great effort, your sparklings fellow classmates have gotten into the habit of thinking of your sparklings as Decepticons. We're trying to rectify this, I assure you."

Blurr didn't say anything for a moment, trying to process this information. This was exactly what he was afraid of. He came to the conclusion that Lightwave was getting the blunt of of the blow as she looked the most like a Decepticon. He didn't believe this woman for a second when she said they were doing something about it.

"What are you doing about it?" Blurr challenged, skeptical the principal could give him a suitable answer.

The femme took pause, clearly surprised by the question, "what are we doing about it?" She repeated, "why-uh, punishment, of course. Time outs for anyone caught referring to them as such." She smiled, satisfied with her answered.

"Mm-hm," Blurr hummed skeptically, "I'm sure you do," Blurr stood, "thank you, Principal Clipper. I'm sure we'll be see eachother again before the school year is up."

The principal gave no reply as the speedster took his leave. Blurr was visiting during school hours but did not catch a glimpse of his Sparklings, as they were currently on the playground.

Lightwave, who was hiding in her own corner of the fenced in playground, watched him leave.

A ball hit her in the shoulder as carrier disappeared. The impact changed her color from the gray she wore back to her natural purple. "quit watching people," Bluewave demanded, catching the ball as it bounced back to him, "catch the ball,"

"Sorry, Bluey," Lightwave apologized, turning to her brother, "I'm a little distracted." she switched her color back to gray. Lightwave had learned that a Purple sparkling was an easier target, and so generally kept herself gray while on school grounds. This had also come from the request of the teachers, who said her deep purple plating was more of a distraction than anything.

Bluewave managed the best scoff a five year old could, "You're always distracted. What are you so worried about?" Bluewave threw the ball to his now attentive sibling.

"What If Carrier finds out?" Lightwave asked, tossing the ball back.

"Would that really be so bad? You don't like school anyways, it was never very nice to you. It's just a buncha meanies,"

"If Carrier finds out then he'll want to homeschool us, and if he homeschools us then I'll never get into the academy."

"I forgot you still wanna do that."

"Carrier wants to make it seem like this war is actually going somewhere."

Bluewave shrugged, "Maybe it is," he proposed quietly, "Nobody can fight forever."

"Well, they have been fighting forever!" Lightwave called, catching the ball and keeping it as she spoke, "the Autobots and Decepticons fight for years on end, who knows how long _this_ war will last!" she threw the ball.

Bluewave caught it and kept it, "Just 'cause they fought for a buncha millions of years in the past, doesn't mean they'll do it again."

Lightwave stood in thought, "I don't know," she grumbled.

Lightwave suddenly sensed something behind her. She turned quickly to meet whatever it was and met her brother, "Zippy!" she called, "Quit sneaking up on me like that!"

Zippy didn't say anything, he just pointed. Lightwave and Bluewave looked in the direction he was pointing. A second later Jazz zipped up, coming to a sliding halt in front of them, "Heads up, kiddies," she started, walking towards her siblings, "Polychrome and her goons are coming."

A group of five femmes approached the quad. They were lead by a gold and blue bot, sporting a custom paint job that looked flashy and overpriced.

"Heeey Guuys," Polychrome greeted condescendingly.

The four sparklings ignored the greeting, blankly continuing what they were doing. Bluewave adjusted his seat on the ground so he was faced more away from the group of femmes. Lightwave set her gaze on the ground while Jazz stood tall with Zippy, who remained the smallest of the group.

Polychrome held out a small communicator, "My sire got a me a new Communicator for my creation day? What did you Decepticon babies get?"

Nobody answered her. Polychrome took a few steps closer, entering the center of the horde, "Oh, that's right, you four don't have a Sire." she mocked, scanning the four bot's who were ignoring her. Polychrome stomped her foot, "Pay attention when I'm talking to you Decepticon babies!" she raged, turning about the group. She scowled, and approached the smallest member. She waved a hand in front of Zippy's face for a moment with a sick grin on her face, "Hey mute mech, can you see me?" she called, then holding up three servos, "How many servos am I holding up?" she smirked with satisfaction.

A moment later Zippy, stone faced, held up three servos to answer her question. Polychrome seemed taken aback for a moment before growling out a scowl, "Lucky guess," he grumbled, heading her her next victim.

"Go away Polychrome," Jazz spoke up, "Nobody wants you here,"

Polychrome flung around to look at the little speedster, "No!" she called, stepping closer, "Nobody wants _you_ here," she said, as if correcting her, "You're just a buncha Deceptibaby _Defects."_ She eased back, putting on an uppity stance once again, "You all should count yourselves lucky you get my attention. I try to be nice and you _freaks_ just act like meanies and ignore me." Now she was facing Lightwave, her favorite target, "We're all glad you sit in your corner all day so we don't catch your _weirdness."_ she spat, then putting on a smirk, "You know," she was talking directly to Lightwave, "My Sire says I shouldn't even be talking to Deceptibabies like you. He says you're all just ilgitimates, and that your Carrier is a dirty, rotten, Decepticon whore."

That tears it.

Lightwave was on Polychrome in a minute, tackling her to the ground and proceeding to beat her small fists against the femmes face until Jazz and Bluewave pulled her back. Lightwave struggled against them, "Let me go!" she demanded, reaching towards her victim and flailing in her captor's arms, "Someone needs to teach this glitch a lesson!"

"Lightwave!" a stern voice called from across the playground. Everything stopped as the teacher approached. She grabbed the purple femme by the hand and dragged her inside. Just her. Not the instigator, who, of course, got off scot free.

Lightwave was dragged into the Counselor's office and dumped there to be taken care of.

Blurr was not wrong to believe his oldest got the brunt of the blow. Not only by the students, but by the school. Anything that was acceptable for the other students to do was not acceptable for her to do. Lightwave could see the disgust in her teacher's eyes when they had to "deal" with her. If she had been beaten up, it was her fault, if she got into a fight it was her fault, if she was having a panic attack or emotional breakdown it was her fault. She was in the counselor's office nearly everyday because the principle had gotten tired of "dealing" with her. Lightwave was taken in and left standing in the office with the vague instruction of "deal with this," passed on to the receptionist.

Lightwave had gotten used to it by now, and had learned to deal with her sorrows. She toughed it out, learning very early in her school career that nobody cared for her. She'd learned to accept that. Or so she'd convinced herself.

She determined the only people who cared about her in this world were her Carrier and her siblings. That was all she needed. She never told Carrier about her school struggles because she didn't want Carrier to worry. Carrier was already sad, he was always sad. But his sparklings always seemed to bring a light to his life that Lightwave did not want to extinguish with her problems. So she kept quiet.

The counselor took Lightwave into her office and sat her down for questioning like she always did.

"Lightwave, why did you beat Polychrome up?"

Lightwave scowled, "Because someone had to," she answered sharply, drawing a frown from her superior.

"Lightwave, we don't hit other students. You know this, we've discussed it before."

"She called my Carrier a whore!" Lightwave defended, "I bet she doesn't even know what that means!"

"Now, Lightwave, you know we are all entitled to our opinions. There's no need to get violent if someone disagrees with you."

Lightwave flung her hands to her face and shook her head, well aware that she was being treated unjustly.

"What about Polychrome?" she spat, "Doesn't she get punished for bullying us."

"Polychrome will be dealt with accordingly, that is none of your concern."

"Are you qualified for this position, ma'am, because you do a really scrappy job."

The counselor began to fume, her face twisting with repressed rage. She took in a deep vent, "I understand you're upset Lightwave, but that is no way to talk to someone who is trying to help you." she said testily, "You will be allowed to return to the playground, but you will be sitting in the timeout chair for the rest of the day. Do you understand?"

Lightwave frowned, dissatisfied, "Yes ma'am," she grumbled.

"Good," the counselor looked through a datapad for a moment, "I've got just a couple more questions for you, Lightwave, and then you can go. Alright?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, Lightwave, when you're at home does your Sire ever be mean to your Carrier? Maybe call him names, or hit him?"

Lightwave lifted a brow in confusion, wondering what has prompted these questions, "No," she answered, the confusion slipping into her tone, "We don't have a sire in the house. It's just Carrier."

"Oh really?" the counselor acted surprised, "Well that is very interesting. Does your Carrier give you energon?"

Lightwave looked at the woman as though it was the dumbest question she'd ever heard, "Yes, he gives us energon."

"Well that's good. Has your Carrier ever gotten mad, and maybe yelled at you or your siblings, or hit any of you?"

Now Lightwave was insulted, "Of course not!" she cried, "Carrier would never hurt us. He used to bring us to work everyday and let us play in his office. And Carrier _never_ yells. Carrier doesn't yell at anyone."

"Anyone?" The counselor pushed skeptically.

Lightwave took a short moment to think, "I guess not unless someone really deserves it. Like you," she smiled, "he'd probably yell at you."

The counselor scowled but made no comment, "that will be all, Lightwave, the receptionist will walk you back to the playground."

Lightwave leaped off the chair and headed back for the seating area, where she was then taken by the hand and escorted back to the playground. She was told to sit in the timeout seat placed at the door and wait until the teacher called everyone in.

Lightwave watched as the other kids played, her mind lost in it's endless thoughts. Without her realizing it all of her siblings had gathered by her side. Bluewave was the first to arrive. He sat right next to her and leaned on the chair. Zippy was next, taking his seat on the other side. Then came Jazz, jittery as ever. She took a few laps around the chair before seating herself directly in front of her older sister.

The speedster smirked, "So whatya in for?" she asked.

Lightwave held back a smile as she crossed her arms, "What did they do with Polychrome?" she asked, her repressed smile turning to a scowl.

Zippy looked up at her, holding up a cyberflower for her to take as Bluewave answered the question "They took her to the nurse. We're not sure what they're gonna do wif er."

Lightwave rolled her eyes, "They're probably not going to do anything. They don't ever do anything."

A teacher called for the siblings, "Don't talk to students while they're in timeout, you know the rules," she said, gesturing for the three hooligans to come back over to the playground. Reluctantly the three began to follow her orders. Jazz was the first to stand, she put her hands on her hips and leaned towards her siblings, "And why can't we be home schooled again?" she whispered, raising an annoyed brow.

"Because Elite Guard girl is 'fraid Carrier won't let her go if we're not in real school." Bluewave explained, struggling to get to his feet.

Jazz's mouth twisted with something similar to annoyance, "Ya know, Wavey, if you think about it Carrie would make a much better teacher than any of these hacks. Why don't we just tell him what's going on?"

Lightwave frowned, "Because Carrier's got enough trouble...he doesn't need ours."

Jazz frowned, "Well if you won't tell him, then I will," he expression lightened, "None of us like seeing you get hurt by those jerks."

Then Jazz rushed off. Bluewave said his goodbyes before following her, and Zippy stayed behind for another moment. He looked to his sister, took her hand, and squeezed it.

Lightwave replied with a sad smile, "I'll be okay, Zippy, go off and join the others."

Zippy hesitated, but eventually let go of her hand and reluctantly rejoined the playground group.

Lightwave, once he was gone, dropped her smile and slumped back in the chair. She let out a small vent as she proceeded to get lost in her thoughts again. Before she could get too deep, though, the femmes who had accompanied Polychrome earlier approached the lone sparkling. They did not look happy.

They just stood there for a moment, deep scowls set on their faces. Lightwave stiffened, drawing in just slightly as she watched them. After a minute of nothing Lightwave spoke, "Can I -help you?" she asked hesitantly.

The new leader for a group, an orange femme, looked to her cohorts, "Get 'er," she demanded.

The other three femmes rushed towards their fellow classmate. Lightwave attempted to run away but she wasn't quick enough, they were on her in a second. One grabbed her by the shoulders while the other two took her arms. The three femmes dragged their squirming hostage to the side of the building. Lightwave screamed, but no one came to her aid. As soon as they dropped her she attempted to get up and run away, but was stopped by a prompt kick in the stomach, bringing her down.

Lightwave didn't remember much from the beating, she was too busy pulling herself in and trying to block the blows to her head. One femme in her class couldn't hit very hard, but the four of them together was enough to hurt.

Tears slipped from the sparklings eyes as she was kicked, punched and shoved on the ground. She cried and screamed but no one seemed to hear.

Then somebody came sliding in.

Jazz smacked the instigator right in the chest with her elbow, sending the orange femme to the dirt. "Ha! Take that!" she gloated, pointing to her victim. A second later the orange femme was on her feet, leaping towards her attacker. Jazz moved out of the way, "Too slow," she mocked with a smirk. She laughed as the kiddie continued to attack.

Bluewave lifted two of the femmes off of his sister with little effort, while Zippy took down, and proceeded to sit on the last bully. Lightwave, wide eyed and sobbing, watched as her siblings fought off her attackers.

After much failure the instigators of the attack halted their attacks, "We're telling teacher!" called the orange femme, then racing back to the playground.

The quad just watched as they ran, making sure all four were gone before rushing to their sister.

"Wavy!" Jazz called, sliding to her knees in front of the older, "Are you okay!?" she asked, putting a hand on her sister's knee and inspecting Lightwave's face. The oldest's face was still twisting with sobs as thick tears ran from her red optics. Bluewave plopped himself next to her and asked where it hurt.

Lightwave, feeling crowded, threw her arms out in an attempt to get everyone away from her. She drew in a second later before flying to her feet and turning to the fence she'd been leaning against. In one quick move she stretched her arms up and took hold of the top of the fence, where she proceeded to haul herself up and over.

"Lightwave!" Jazz called after her, grabbing the fence and pressing her face against it as she watched her sister run away, "Where are you going!?" she called louder.

Zippy began to climb the fence, despite the protest from Bluewave, "Where are you going!?" Jazz called, suddenly feeling flustered by her siblings behavior.

Zippy jumped from the top of the fence and chased after his twin.

Jazz threw her hands to her head as she began to jitter, "Oh, Carrier is gonna kill us," she groaned, watching as the two older of the quad got further and further away.

"You two!" a teacher called from the edge of the building, "What are you doing back here?" she demanded harshly, "We're going inside now,"

Jazz and Bluewave took one last glance behind the fence before following orders.

As they went inside the teacher counted and checked to make sure everyone was there. She noticed not everyone was, "Where are Lightwave and Zippy?" she called to the class.

No one seemed to be able to give an answer.

Then the search began.

They searched every classroom, every piece of playground equipment. They interrogated Jazz and Bluewave but neither gave any useful information. They kept their mouths shut and eyes on the floor.

Then the principal decided it was time to make the call.

She put a hand to her head as her face fell into worry and fear, "This should be fun," she mumbled sarcastically before making the call.

Blurr had just returned from a run when his comm lit up. It was the school.

Odd? They never called him for anything. Maybe someone had died.

It was a joke, but a concerning one.

"Blurr?" the principal's voice broke through as Blurr answered,

"Yes?"

"We've got- somewhat of a situation at the school."

Of course Blurr wasn't very happy to hear that two. _Two._ Of his sparklings had gone missing. He wasn't horribly surprised, but that didn't suppress his rage.

"You lost them!?" he roared, "How do you- I know you have more than two sparklings in your class!- They're five solar cycles old and there are twelve of them, don't feed me this scrap that they're hard to keep track of! I'm one person and I can keep track of four! AND THREE OF THEM ARE SPEEDSTERS!"

The principal tried to reason with the angry Carrier, but Blurr was having none of it, "Just. Stop," Blurr said sternly, tired of her babbling, "I'm coming to pick up the rest of the my sparklings. Be sure not to lose them."

Blurr informed his boss of the situation and he let the delivery bot leave for the day, wishing Blurr luck with finding his sparklings.

Blurr raced to the school and picked up his remaining kids before rushing home to check for her there. He mumbled and swore under his breath as they ran home.

"Lightwave!" Blurr called as soon as he entered the house. He waited for a reply, but got none, "She's not here," he determined, then turning to his other two. Blurr sat them down on the couch and put his hands on his hips, "Alright. Where are they?" he asked the drawn in sparklings. Neither looked at Blurr, both feeling guilty that they couldn't stop their siblings.

Blurr kneeled down before them. He put a hand on Jazz's knee, "I'm not mad," he said calmly, "I'm just worried. I trust Lightwave out there on her own, but think about Zippy. He's fine at home, he's fine at school, but wondering around the city he's in danger. If you know where they might have gone you have to tell me."

Jazz looked to her Carrier, "Zippy is with Wavy, he should be fine, right?"

"Maybe. But we don't know that. Jazz, what happened? Why did they run away?"

Bluewave spoke up first, "It was Lightwave!" he said, confessing, "She got beat up by a buncha meanies and ran off. Zippy ran after her, we tried to stop them!"

Blurr put a hand on his panicking son's wrist, "Calm down," he advised, "Don't overwork yourself." Blurr looked between his two sparklings, "Do you know where they might have gone?"

Jazz hesitated, but eventually spit out an answer, "I- I think I might."

Lightwave found herself sobbing in her usual spot. This wasn't the first time she'd left school, it was just the first time she was discovered to be missing. She generally managed to return to the school before Carrier came to pick them up, but this time it had just been too much.

She needed to leave. She needed to go and be alone for a while.

Zippy stayed back as she sat in her spot. He sat on top of the bridge instead of under it. He waited, listening until she calmed down. It took a while, but she eventually wiped her eyes and invited him down.

Lightwave had found herself a small stone bridge over a dry stream right outside the city. It appeared to have remained from the society that came before the autobots. The entire planet had yet to be developed, so the remains of an apocalypse littered the outer edges of the city. They were currently in the process of cyberforming the place, but had yet to reach Lightwave's special spot.

Zippy leaped down from the bridge and came to sit beside her sister. He drew a few symbols on her plating and leaned on her shoulder, telling her it was okay to cry.

Lightwave didn't cry in front of people. Zippy had learned to wait for her to stop, for the most part at least, before going down to comfort her. She never cried in front of Carrier, not anymore. She never cried at school, or in front of any of her siblings. If she cried at home it was in a closet, all alone.

Lightwave wasn't sure when she'd learned this behavior. Maybe it was from the kids at school, who laughed at the Deceptibaby who cried. Maybe it was from her Carrier, who cried alone on the rare occasions he cried. Maybe a combination of both. Whatever it was, it had stuck.

She was in rare form, having invited Zippy down before her eyes were entirely dry. She hiccupped as the last few tears slipped from behind her optics. She averted her gaze to the knees pull up to her chest, "Why am I so different?" she asked quietly, not really looking for an answer. She straightened her legs and brought her hands up to look at them. She switched back and forth from purple to gray, "Why can I do this?" she shot to her feet, sending Zippy to the ground, "Why is Bluey so much bigger than everyone else!?" she asked, beginning to pace, "And why are you so much smaller? Why am I purple? And I can change color!" she turned her attention back to her sibling, "Haven't you ever wondered!?" she cried, "We're so different, and everyone calls us Deceptibabies! What is with that!?"

Zippy stood and approached his sister. He moved his fingers around in a pattern, one only the family seemed to understand.

Lightwave rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, "Some questions are better left unanswered, yeah, sure. You read that in a book!"

Zippy lifted a brow, putting on a light scowl, "You read everything in a book," he countered.

Lightwave eased, "Well, you're not wrong about that." she jumped to attention again, getting back on track, "I don't like unanswered questions!" she called, "What about our Sire? Where's he? We never even hear about him, and whenever anyone mentions him Carrier avoids it, like it's some kind of plague."

Zippy stepped closer to his sister and took her hands to communicate with her. He told her that they were young, and Carrier might tell them what she wanted to know when they were older.

That's how it went, right? In every movie, book, show, that's what the adult said. They said "I'll tell you when you're older," every time something came up. Zippy didn't know why this was the way it was, but his sister was in distress and it was the best he could give her.

Lightwave pulled away, "What if I don't want to wait that long!" Before Lightwave could say more she heard someone call her name. It sounded like it was coming from far away, but a second later she and Zippy were captured in a hug.

Blurr slid on his knees, holding the two sparklings as closely as he could, "Lightwave, Zippy, My sparklings, oh my beautiful beautiful sparklings," Blurr sighed, then spotting his sparkling's helms with kisses. After a long, tight hug he released them for a second and began inspecting Lightwave, "Are you alright, are you hurt?" He grabbed the sparkling lightly under the jaw and turned her head about for a quick inspection, "You're covered in dents," Blurr said, his voice tensing a bit with anger. Blurr made a fist, "I am going to kill that kid's parents," Blurr mumbled under his breath. He calmed a second later, returning the twins to his embrace, "Don't ever disappear on me like that again. You had me too worried for words, and I mean really worried. Very worried, the highest level of worried you can be, that's how worried I was you have no idea how happy I am that you're safe, well, relatively safe you're still covered in dents and you werebeatupbythoseglitches, Oh!" Blurr paused, putting a hand to his mouth. He looked around at his four sparklings, "I'm rambling," he said, "To the point," he looked back to Lightwave, "I'm pulling you out of the school," he looked about the sparklings again, "All of you. No more bullies, no more hack teachers, just me. I can't stand to see you all getting hurt."

Lightwave stiffened, "You told him!?" she called to Jazz and Bluewave, who were standing behind the Carrier.

"Yes," Blurr answered quickly, putting his hands on the sparklings shoulders and pulling her attention back to him, "And I'm glad they did. They told me everything, Lightwave. The bullies, the teachers, the Elite Guard...We'll see about that by the way, but until then, I don't want you to be afraid to come to me when the going gets tough. If you ever want to be an Elite Guardsman then you're going to have to learn to rely on your teammates," Blurr pointed to himself, "I am your teammate. You're problems are my problems for now, alright?"

Lightwave took in a slightly disappointed sigh, "Yes Carrier," she agreed quietly, averting her gaze to the ground.

Blurr pulled her into a hug, pinning her to his chest, "I'm not mad," he said quietly, "I'm telling you this, not only because I'm your Carrier, but because when you make it into the Academy I want you to be ahead of the game," he smirked, "Like I was,"

Lightwave looked up at her Carrier, shocked, "You mean-?"

Blurr smiled, "I'll consider it," he said, "Let's just see how you do in my class first."

Lightwave put on a wide smile, "Carrier!" she cried happily, wrapping her arms around the larger, "Thanks you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'll do my best, I promise!"

"I'm sure you will," Blurr stood, taking Lightwave by the hand, "Come on," he said to everyone, "We're going home."

They formed their line, and ran home.

When they got home Blurr served everyone their energon before banishing them to their room.

He wasn't really mad, and understood the reasoning behind his Sparklings actions, but that didn't change the fact that running away and nearly giving their Carrier a spark attack was a punishable offense.

The four shared a room, everyone having a wall to themselves. Lightwave edge of the room was lined with Datapads while her wall was covered in graphs and sheets she used to write on. A pen tied to a wire hung off her wall so whenever a thought came to mind she could just draw it.

Jazz's wall was covered to the brink with racing posters. She even had one of Blurr that Bumblebee had found and given to her. He was at the center of them, inspiring Jazz the most to become a better racer.

Bluewave's edge was a mess, but there was nothing on his wall. The same went for Zippy's wall, though his edge was an organized pile of audio books and reports he'd snagged from Autobot headquarters when they were there. He also had a good collection of all sorts of music. Recordings like that were rare on a growing planet, so it was Arcee and Bumblebee who'd provided these for him. They brought the sparklings all sorts of random things from their missions.

The four sparklings kept themselves occupied until Carrier called for lights out. Everyone settled into their berth's, but found it somewhat difficult to get to sleep.

As the night progressed and nary managed a steady recharge, one by one the sparklings abandoned their berths. They migrated to Carrier's room, where their caregiver was fast asleep and very inviting. Everyone silently took their usual spots, all without disturbing the slumbering mech.

Lightwave was the last to join them, but as she laid down beside her Carrier a simple thought crossed her mind.

From now on, things would be better.

It was late, too late for Optimus when Cliffjumper came charging into his office, "We need to think of something." the red bot declared, after lecturing Optimus, for the eight time that month, on the importance of the agreement made with Shockwave.

Optimus lifted his head from his servo," Cliffjumper, this has gone on long enough. We're not going to get him to agree to this."

Since Blurr's leave Optimus and Cliffjumper had made several attempts to get him to come back and agree to the Shockwave deal under slightly new terms. Blurr ignored every attempt to contact him, and had almost snubbed the Elite Guard all together, still holding a grudge against his former superiors for trying to shove him in a cell with his former captor.

Optimus hadn't heard from the speedster in a solar-cycle, and was ready to give up. Cliffjumper, however, was not about to give up.

Cliffjumper turned sharply to his colleague, "We _need_ him, Optimus. We need this deal! We could _win._ Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Optimus scowled, "We've won before _without_ the aid of Shockwave's intel. We can do it again."

"With so few resources!? With dwindling forces, an understaffed homebase, and a defective communication system? I don't think so Optimus, not this time. Right now we are losing, and we're going to keep losing if we don't get Blurr's aft back in here! And into that cell!"

"There's nothing we can do Cliffjumper!" Optimus insisted sternly, "Blurr isn't Elite Guard any more, and even if he was- you saw how well that worked out. What did you expect would happen?"

"I expected Blurr to be loyal to his people, and do what was necessary for the Autobot cause."

"There is a line, Cliffjumper, and we crossed it. You can't deny that. We should have never made that arrangement without him."

A voice interrupted from the door, "I agree," said Arcee, leaning on the frame. She pushed off and walked into the room, "That was a dirty trick you pulled. Binding it by law? Even lower."

Cliffjumper scowled at her, "This is high ranking business, Arcee. What do you want?"

"Nothing. I just heard you talking, thought I'd stop by," she made her way to Prime's desk and leaned against it, "You had no right writing up that contract, not even legally."

"Don't you have reports to read?" Cliffjumper snapped, getting angry.

Arcee continued, "Blurr was Elite Guard, you could boss him around, sure...But his sparklings _weren't_ the only person who is legally allowed to make decisions regarding _them_ is Blurr. So, technically, writing up that contract at all without his consent was Illegal. It was an act of intimidation. Is it any wonder he left?"

Cliffjumper's scowl deepened, "You're overstepping your bounds soldier."

"I'm speaking to you as a friend, Cliffjumper. I'm speaking to both of you as friends." She glanced at Optimus, "If you want Blurr back so badly, I suggest you do the same."

"But he won't speak to us," Optimus said, taking Arcee's words into consideration.

Arcee turned fully to the prime, "That's because you're still talking to him like one of your soldiers. You ping him, and send him federal messages. Of course he's going to ignore you. Since I know you won't drop this Shockwave agreement nonsense, I'm not going to try and convince you to," she began walking towards the door, "I think it's wrong, but I can't deny that the information we can get from Shockwave could turn the tide in our favor ten fold. So, I suggest, in the case of Blurr, instead of looking at him like one of your cronies, look at him like a friend. Invite him out for a drink. Drop by for a visit. Just do something- that isn't anything you are currently doing." with that she took her leave.

Optimus and Cliffjumper took a moment to think over the suggestion.

"You know," Optimus started, "She's- not wrong."

Cliffjumper rolled his eyes, "You want to get all buddy buddy with the bot who abandoned his cause? Fine, but I'm not taking part in it."

Optimus scowled, "Blurr has done more than enough for the Autobots, Cliffjumper, don't try to discredit him because we forced him to leave."

" _We_ forced him!?" Cliffjumper raged

"Yes!" Optimus shot back, "We pushed him away, we gave him no choice but to do what he thought was necessary to protect himself and his family. I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do." Optimus approached the smaller bot, "Our war is not with our own."

Cliffjumper scowled up at his superior, "we need this Optimus." He pointed a sharp finger at the larger, "and by the time you see that it will be too late." Cliffjumper stomped off, leaving Optimus with a lot to think about.


End file.
